Did anyone watch Koffee with Karan last week? Only by accident of course. I can't imagine why anyone would actually, purposefully sit down to watch this 'iconic' filmmaker giggle incessantly at his own daft jokes and take pot-shots at all those in the film industry he doesn't like (perhaps because they refuse to acknowledge his greatness) and poke fun at the media in general and film critics in particular, like he himself is the ultimate guide-book to 'authentic' cinema. His guests are mostly people who like Karan Johar (i.e SRK, Rani, Kajol etc) or those who are dying to work with him – read Shilpa & Shamita Shetty, Bobby Deol, John Abraham etc. There have been a couple of notable exceptions, of course. Like Hema Malini, who said it like it is and didn't gush over inane questions respectfully thrown her way. Or Richard Gere, who was delightful to watch as he made Karan squirm at the edge of his usually comfy sofa over questions about his views on the Tibet crisis or on world politics. Karan looked uncharacteristically tense as he mumbled 'hmmm', 'yes', 'of course' and tried to smile his way out of the situation.
Ms. Shetty is supposed to be an actress by profession and has been around for the last 15 years. In all these years, one doesn't recall a single noteworthy performance given by her, with the possible exception of Revathy's 'Phir Milenge' where she seemed somewhat natural. And yet, she's always managed to make headlines because of her off-screen escapades. Now can you imagine what Shilpa Shetty's career would have been like if the media hadn't showered its benevolence on her?Imagine, even Bobby Deol doesn't like film critics. And since he was Karan's guest last week, alongside Preity Zinta, who fits in perfectly because her greatest cinematic achievement is the ability to giggle disarmingly at all times, he had to state his opinion about criticism from the media. Now realistically speaking, when was the last time anyone saw Bobby Deol 'act'? Seriously. His cousin Abhay has managed to do in just three years what Bobby couldn't in 13. And that must be the critics' fault, because while they unanimously shower praise on Abhay for his affable screen presence and his no-nonsense style of acting, they have summarily dismissed Bobby over all these years.
Meanwhile Aamir Khan has suddenly grown friendly on the media. Firstly, he needs to defend his land deal in Maharashtra by proving he's a farmer and secondly because after six long years, he's releasing the DVD of 'Lagaan'. Since he needs the publicity, he didn't mind doing a primetime half-hour show on Headlines Today (very boring, one might add) or giving an exclusive interview to CNN-IBN last week. The same Aamir had dismissed the media last year in an exclusive interview with 'Tehelka' magazine arguing that since the media lacks ethics, he had decided to stop speaking to them. Now either he's changed his mind about the media's ethical standards (which have slipped even further in the last 12 months, if such a thing were possible) or he's just exploiting his star status when it suits him.
Ditto for the Bachchan's and their bahu, who apparently wanted a 'private' wedding at home, but got the traffic police to bring all of Juhu to a standstill and then blamed the media for intruding on their personal lives. What's more, someone miraculously got hold of pictures of the newlyweds aboard Anil Ambani's private jet en route to Tirupati (must've been the pilot who leaked the pictures!), where they once again brought life to a grinding halt and forced other lowly devotees to languish in long queues while the lord gave them 'exclusive' darshan. Thank god no media channel felt it worth the effort to send a spy crew to Tahiti where the couple reportedly went for their honeymoon and mercifully, we've been spared the gory details thereof!
But seriously, why is the media obsessed with these filmwallahs in any case? Considering the ones who can act, don't generate much news. Those who can't find ingenious ways to stay put in the limelight, without actually doing anything (Shilpa Shetty can start a training academy for such aspirants when she's done opening restaurants and boutiques in London). And then guess what Karan's up to these days? After lampooning the media week after week in 'K with K', he's about to launch his own entertainment channel, where you can be sure, among other things, there'll be favourable reviews for KJo's films, and endless rounds of Koffeeing with Karan and his kronies….PS: For those who're interested in listening to a serious cinema aficionado talk about the art, read Naseeruddin Shah's column in 'Filmfare'.
